the-absolute-funniest-posts:

timitation:

my current dating strategy

Wednesday May 5 @ 09:27pm

Wednesday May 5 @ 09:27pm
Wednesday May 5 @ 09:21pm
In God’s eyes, you are precious and wonderful. You are beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you aren’t. Wednesday May 5 @ 09:21pm
  • guys: uh why do girls care so much about being skinny? it's so annoying
  • guys: ew fat chicks
Wednesday May 5 @ 09:21pm

Wednesday May 5 @ 09:21pm
Wednesday May 5 @ 09:21pm
Wednesday May 5 @ 08:20pm
yes, I did have a dream about you dying last night Kaitlyn…

yes, I did have a dream about you dying last night Kaitlyn…

Wednesday May 5 @ 08:13pm
  • period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
  • period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
  • period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
  • period: Corneas glance by a VS magazine on the table. Instantly horny.
  • period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
  • period: See an attractive specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
  • period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
  • period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
  • period: See specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
  • period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
  • period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
  • period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
  • period: Yell at a puppy.
  • period: Close eyes and wait for repeat tomorrow.
Wednesday May 5 @ 07:28pm
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